Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Happy Canada Day, And An Old Piece
It's Canada Day! I love Canada! Whoo! I miss Mirror and the kiddos, but I'm doing alright. =)
I wrote this random free verse piece about three months ago and reading through it again I realized that I really like it. So here it is in another place. ^^;
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I saw you today, you weren’t looking very well. I was concerned. But it wasn’t unusual, I see parts of you every single day of my life. You haven’t left me for quite some time now, and I’ve grown accustomed to it. The traces that linger on me are so deeply engrained that I can’t seem to scrub them out, and God Knows, I’ve tried.
I wake in the morning and look in the mirror, I can see your hand prints on my neck, or a cynical glint in my eye that I always assumed belonged to you. A deeper glance, and there’s a scared little girl, banging on the other side of the glass. I wipe away the shower’s steam, and see it’s only me. It takes everything to get up and go on. School, I smile, I see it in my reflection, and they’re your lips and your teeth. I say something cruel, it isn’t my voice. I punch the concrete until I bleed enough to paint the walls, and they still aren’t my fists.
If all these parts of you, are lingering in the dark corners of me, how much of me have you got a hold of? Do you think to lie, but tell the truth instead, because it’s what I would do? Do you want to cry, but stop, because I’m a big girl, and we don’t cry? Or have I been alone all along? I imagine I have. I imagine you haven’t thought twice about me since I left; I imagine you never will.
So as long as I’m living for both of us, being two people in one space at the same time, I figured I’d let you know. It’s fine that you decided to die, on the inside, and just leave me here to go it alone. I’m managing all right, and I’m taking good care of the pieces of you. They’re safest in my heart shaped box, and I don’t even take them out to play with.
I’d still set fires to see you smile. Did you see that coming, through any of this, through all of it? I’d burn buildings and ruin lives for your sideways crooked grin, string myself up on a puppets strings just to make you laugh aloud. If you need to relieve a little stress, you could even batter me around for a bit, I’m sure you know how well I handle that. I can take anything you dish out.
Won’t you let me see that little crack in your soul? Even if it’s not a real smile, let me see it, let me have it to keep, and to cherish. I promise I won’t take it for granted, I promise it will be safe with all the pieces of you and I. One more time, for the sake of the last time, and then maybe I can get some sleep, and then maybe,
just maybe....
I won’t have nightmares anymore....
I wrote this random free verse piece about three months ago and reading through it again I realized that I really like it. So here it is in another place. ^^;
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I saw you today, you weren’t looking very well. I was concerned. But it wasn’t unusual, I see parts of you every single day of my life. You haven’t left me for quite some time now, and I’ve grown accustomed to it. The traces that linger on me are so deeply engrained that I can’t seem to scrub them out, and God Knows, I’ve tried.
I wake in the morning and look in the mirror, I can see your hand prints on my neck, or a cynical glint in my eye that I always assumed belonged to you. A deeper glance, and there’s a scared little girl, banging on the other side of the glass. I wipe away the shower’s steam, and see it’s only me. It takes everything to get up and go on. School, I smile, I see it in my reflection, and they’re your lips and your teeth. I say something cruel, it isn’t my voice. I punch the concrete until I bleed enough to paint the walls, and they still aren’t my fists.
If all these parts of you, are lingering in the dark corners of me, how much of me have you got a hold of? Do you think to lie, but tell the truth instead, because it’s what I would do? Do you want to cry, but stop, because I’m a big girl, and we don’t cry? Or have I been alone all along? I imagine I have. I imagine you haven’t thought twice about me since I left; I imagine you never will.
So as long as I’m living for both of us, being two people in one space at the same time, I figured I’d let you know. It’s fine that you decided to die, on the inside, and just leave me here to go it alone. I’m managing all right, and I’m taking good care of the pieces of you. They’re safest in my heart shaped box, and I don’t even take them out to play with.
I’d still set fires to see you smile. Did you see that coming, through any of this, through all of it? I’d burn buildings and ruin lives for your sideways crooked grin, string myself up on a puppets strings just to make you laugh aloud. If you need to relieve a little stress, you could even batter me around for a bit, I’m sure you know how well I handle that. I can take anything you dish out.
Won’t you let me see that little crack in your soul? Even if it’s not a real smile, let me see it, let me have it to keep, and to cherish. I promise I won’t take it for granted, I promise it will be safe with all the pieces of you and I. One more time, for the sake of the last time, and then maybe I can get some sleep, and then maybe,
just maybe....
I won’t have nightmares anymore....
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