Wednesday, June 23, 2010


I've been trying to write this for a while now, but I didn't know what to say. To put it basically, I don't know my father's new phone number since he moved, and I don't have a long distance plan. Currently, I don't even have internet in my own home. So I just assumed my dad would call me on Father's Day. But it didn't happen like that, it never happens like that.

Father's are something I find people take for granted. Most father's are the hard asses in your life, the ones who lay down the law while your mommy kisses it better afterwords, but they do it in the attempt to shape you into a functional person. When you look at it, almost every psycho in history had some kind of daddy issues. Hitler and Charles Manson probably top my list for that. A lot of successful people, though, have nice, happy, normal dads. Or at least the kind that are good at pretending they are, and seem believable doing it. The point I'm trying to make, is that your dad is integral in pushing you through this life.

A lot of people never realize how much they've relied on that guiding hand until it's gone. See, I always fancied myself daddy's little girl, until my parents separated, my mother went crazy, and my dad dropped off the map. Suddenly, I was not his sole concern, as I assumed I had been. I thought when he went out trucking for weeks at a time, it was because he wanted to make money to feed me, and all the sudden, I was hungry and he wasn't there. For me, this is just another time when he's not around, and I guess I'm adjusted to it now.

But for some reason, I just wish my dad would call.

I did hear from my mom's ex-boyfriend recently though, and he's pretty much the closest thing I have to a dad. I love my adopted-geek-dad.

1 comment:

  1. That's not fair about your dad. I don't know the situation fully and so I won't address his reasons. He may have them, he may not. But I'm sending kind thoughts your way. It sucks to wait for the one guy in your life who should always call to call you.